How to Plan a Funeral in Under a Week: A Checklist

A funeral can be arranged in a few days if you make decisions in the right order: first who will care for the body and whether it will be buried or cremated, then the service, then the details. This funeral planning checklist sets out what to decide on day one, what can wait until after the service, and which choices lock in the largest costs.

Most of the money is committed at a single arrangement meeting with the funeral home. Everything in the first two days is about walking into that meeting with prices compared and your limits clear.

Before you start: check for plans that already exist

Spend twenty minutes looking for these before you call anyone. Each can change what you need to buy.

• A prepaid funeral contract. It may name a funeral home and cover some items already.
• A cemetery deed or mausoleum contract, in case a plot or crypt is already paid for
• Written wishes in a will, a letter or an advance directive
• Military discharge papers (DD214). A veteran whose discharge was not dishonorable may be eligible for burial in a VA national cemetery, which comes with a gravesite, opening and closing of the grave, perpetual care, a government headstone or marker, and a burial flag at no cost to the family.
• Life insurance policies, which may pay for the funeral once a claim is filed

Funeral planning checklist, day by day

Day 1: the decisions that set the budget

Burial or cremation

This single choice decides which other costs you face. The FTC describes three broad types of funeral. A “traditional” full-service funeral is generally the most expensive. Direct burial and direct cremation, with no viewing, usually cost less. Burial also brings cemetery costs that are billed separately from the funeral home. The comparison is laid out in cremation vs burial.

Which funeral home

Funeral homes must give you price information on the telephone if you ask, without taking your name first. The FTC suggests comparing at least two funeral homes. When you compare, the FTC advises looking at the total cost of all the items together, not just single items.

Embalming

The FTC says federal law does not require embalming under any circumstances, and that no state law requires routine embalming for every death. Some states require embalming or refrigeration if burial or cremation does not happen within a certain time. Many funeral homes require it for a public viewing. That is usually house policy, not law in most states, and you can ask about a private family viewing without embalming.

Day 2: the arrangement meeting

This is where most of the bill gets fixed. The Funeral Rule gives you these rights at the table:

• A General Price List to keep, listing every item and service with its price
• The casket price list before you see any caskets, so you can ask about lower-priced models that are not on display
• An outer burial container price list before you see the containers
• Buying only what you choose. You do not have to accept a package.
• Using a casket or urn you bought elsewhere. The funeral home cannot refuse it or charge you a fee to handle it.
• An alternative container for cremation. No state or local law requires a casket for cremation.
• An itemized written statement of everything you selected, with prices and a total, given immediately after you make the arrangements

The only charge you cannot decline is the basic services fee. Under federal regulations, a funeral home may not make you buy one item as a condition of getting another, except as required by law. It also may not charge extra fees beyond the basic services fee, what you selected, and anything legally required (16 CFR 453.4). The full rule is in the FTC Funeral Rule in plain English.

Watch the cash advance items. These are things the funeral home buys from others on your behalf, such as flowers, obituary notices, clergy and musicians. The FTC says a home that adds a markup must disclose that fact in writing, though it does not have to say how much. If it does not yet know a cash advance cost, it must give you a written good-faith estimate.

Day 2 to 3: the cemetery is a separate purchase

The Funeral Rule does not cover cemeteries unless they sell both funeral goods and funeral services, according to the FTC’s guide to buying a cemetery site. You will get a separate bill. It typically covers:

• The plot or crypt, if you do not already own one
• Opening and closing the grave, which the FTC notes are charged separately
• A grave liner or vault. The FTC says outer burial containers are not required by state law anywhere in the U.S., but many cemeteries require them.
• Endowment or perpetual care, if not included in the plot price
• A headstone or marker, usually bought later

For a veteran, the National Cemetery Scheduling Office takes calls from families and funeral directors at 800-535-1117. The VA asks for the DD214 or other discharge documents.

Which choices lock in the most cost

For a national reference point, the National Funeral Directors Association, a trade association, reported a 2023 national median of $8,300 for a funeral with viewing and burial, and $6,280 for a funeral with viewing and cremation. Its burial figure excludes cemetery costs, a monument or marker, and cash advance items such as flowers and obituaries. Local prices can be far above or below a national median.

The choices that move the total most:

1. A viewing. It tends to bring embalming, preparation and use of the funeral home’s facilities and staff.
2. The casket. Ask for the full price list and consider buying elsewhere.
3. Cemetery items. Plot, opening and closing, vault and marker.
4. A package versus itemized choices. A package can cost less, but only the itemized list lets you compare.

A line-by-line view is in how much a funeral costs.

Day 2 to 4: the service itself

• Date, time and place: funeral home chapel, place of worship, graveside or somewhere else
• Officiant or celebrant, and who will speak
• Readings, music and any religious or cultural rites
• Pallbearers, if there is a casket
• Photos, a slideshow, a printed program
• Obituary for print and online. Ask the newspaper for its rate before you write.
• Reception or gathering afterward

After the service: what can wait

• The headstone or marker. There is no rush. Ask the cemetery about its rules on size and material first.
• Social Security’s $255 lump-sum death payment. It goes to a surviving spouse who lived with the person, or in some cases a spouse living apart or an eligible child, according to Social Security’s guide for families.
• A VA burial allowance. If the veteran’s death was not service connected, the VA says you generally must file within 2 years after the burial, with exceptions. More on both in help paying for a funeral.
• Thank-you notes, estate paperwork and notifying banks and agencies. See who to call when someone dies.

Before you pay anything, ask for the itemized Statement of Funeral Goods and Services Selected and check it against the price list line by line. The funeral home must give it to you immediately after you make the arrangements. It must also explain in writing any legal, cemetery or crematory requirement that made you buy a particular item.

Sources

• Federal Trade Commission: The FTC Funeral Rule
• Federal Trade Commission: Types of Funerals
• Federal Trade Commission: Shopping for Funeral Services
• Federal Trade Commission: Choosing a Funeral Provider
• Federal Trade Commission: Funeral Costs and Pricing Checklist
• Federal Trade Commission: Buying a Cemetery Site
• Federal Trade Commission: Complying with the Funeral Rule
• Electronic Code of Federal Regulations: 16 CFR Part 453, Funeral Industry Practices
• U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, National Cemetery Administration: Burial and Memorial Benefits
• U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs: Schedule a Burial for a Veteran or Family Member
• U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs: Veterans Burial Allowance and Transportation Benefits
• Social Security Administration: How Social Security Can Help You When a Family Member Dies (Publication 05-10008)
• National Funeral Directors Association (trade association): 2023 NFDA General Price List Study